i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me
I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.
At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee
a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and whispered “count olaf”
once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”
A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.
Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.
Girls are a fucking gift don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
I had a drunk girl shout that she loved all of our speeches and that everyone was doing a fantastic job.
I hate when a woman says she hates something about her body and a man says “I’d still fuck” like that’s suppose to magically clear up my skin and elevate my self esteem.
Plus men will fuck anything. There are men in a mountain somewhere fucking goats cause they gussy is tight. Bye
You know what I really love? That scooby doo sound effect they play whenever someone’s trying to run but they just stay in place. You know, and that scooby doo pots and pans or like stomping feet or something sound plays. It’s such a great sound, it’s impossible to make that sound out loud with your human voice. Just try it. But you know what sound I’m talking about. You can hear it in your head. I love that sound. I’d like to layer 100 separate scooby doo running sound effect tracks over each other and have them all playing at once, set a few seconds apart each. Wow. Even just thinking about it breathes life into this hollow machine.
why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.
hey controversial opinion but clean water should be fucking free and people should never be allowed to make money off of it because its fucking needed to live
